Hi, I am free spirit writer of poetry & short novels and blogger!
Some of my most liked poems will be chosen for Apparel with a digital design and a special dedication if requested.
Please, help save lives
Thinking is feeling
A thought is a feeling,
This poem is dedicated to those that suffer in silence ❤️🙏
“My spiritual awakening” Breaking through
It all started after my car accident in 2018.
Before waking up in the hospital bed. I was in the in-between. I don’t know or care if you believe in heaven and hell or God or anything religious. What I saw and felt was extraordinary, especially because most would say I am condemned to hell for being non-binary. Furthermore, as I lay down on the hospital bed a crowd of spirits surrounded my bed at a distance and then from above I saw Saint Michael come down with a firing sword pointing straight down at them. When he completely came down, he waved his sword in flames towards them as they wanted to move forward closer to me, but he wouldn’t allow it. Saint Michael turned to face me and his facial expression looked angry but not at me, as he looked down at my legs he looked angry. Then those spirits still standing there are trying to move towards me again, so Saint Michael turns waving his sword and pointing it at them again. In the middle of him doing this, there’s a sudden drop of light to my left side of the bed. I couldn't see his face. I could only see him dressed in a white cloth and a bright light coming out of his body. Likewise, I couldn’t believe it, at that moment those spirits surrounding my bed were completely gone. Saint Michael, still standing there facing him, started by bending his knee at him. At that moment, I see the white shiny man in a white cloth lifting his right hand and pointing with his right index finger to my right side at that moment Saint Michael rises from being on his knees and begins walking close to my lower-left side of my bed as he gets close he reaches to touch my legs at that moment when he’s touching me I also feel the touch on my left shoulder I am gasping for air and start opening my eyes taking my first breath into a new life and to see that I’m in a hospital bed. After all, this nothing has been the same. I lost everything I didn’t really want to connect with anyone. I was hurting because I couldn’t go back to work. I couldn't go running or lift weights. That life was no more. I felt different at the time I was staying at my stepdad‘s house and I didn’t really want to show that I was suffering in silence. I made arrangements to move out and be on my own. The feeling of solitude just kept getting stronger and stronger. I felt less tolerant of people's way of thinking. I started meditating and that's when I started feeling a little better. Then problems started and I felt uncomfortable where I was because of their beliefs. So I was pushed to move into a different location, things just got worse and I was even more pushed into solitude with no outside communication other than some family members. Before this happened one of my therapists already had mentioned that I had experienced a spiritual awakening. So when this happened I knew I had to stay strong, meditate and not lose faith. The meditations became very intense. For example, in the middle of meditating, I experienced strong uncontrollable emotions as if someone was pulling something out of my chest. I felt a strong force of energy and couldn’t stop crying. As I continue to meditate painful memories would come through my head attached to strong feelings. but the feeling of forgiving was so strong I couldn’t fight. There I slowly started letting go and just living for the moment, understanding I had no control over my surroundings or people, only my actions and myself. “I am not alone when I love the person I’m alone with”!
For those that think you are experiencing a spiritual awakening my advice is to try to stay calm, and strong. I know it can be overwhelming but in the end, you will feel better.
“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes”. Carl Jung
How do I overcome my situation and struggles?
You overcome by
I message from my experience & struggles!
Any type of harassment leaves scars!
I will Thrive
What you are about to read in this article is my ability to survive and overcome bigotry, and opportunism in all aspects of life. When you have no physical disability, it's easier to deal with discrimination you learn to ignore. But what happens when suddenly that changes? Well, that's precisely what happened to me. It happened on 4/13/2018 that evening I don't recall the time, I also don't remember anything during or after my car when off a ditch up in the mountains. I only remember waking up in a hospital bed confused and scared. I was sedated most of the time, so I don’t know how long I was in intensive care. But I do remember one of the doctors coming into the room letting me know I needed urgent surgery to repair my left side humerus and clavicle and he also I recall said, “you are lucky, and you have broken all your ribs too” I was still confused and between drowsy and awake. I went ahead and sign the papers for the surgery. Some days passed, and I was told that I needed to be transferred to a rehabilitation hospital. At this point I was even more confused I just agreed with everything they said because they wouldn’t let me get out of bed I wasn’t able to eat solid food I had a tube inside my left lug and a catheter, so I knew something was wrong. Days passed and my will to keep going just got stronger. I wasn’t told what to expect or if I would ever be able to walk on my own. My mother was in denial about the outcome I clearly remember her telling me to “just get up and walk try to leave the wheelchair”, My stepfather was also in the room I remember supporting my mother's way of encouragement he said, “I got up and started walking after surgery I didn’t care”. I just didn't say a thing. In my mind, I was asking God for strength, to deal with the anger I was feeling. The day had come for me to be discharged from the hospital, and I was so happy. I am not the type of person that likes hospitals or being sick. So, this was not a pleasant time for me. Getting out and not being able to walk like before without needing a quad or without losing my balance was a challenge, emotionally it was crushing me inside, especially my pride, but I never complained to anyone or showed my pain for the first year I cried in silence. After not being able to get the support I required from my family, I decided that I needed to move out.